"UK city council member reportedly claims to have fathered an alien child"
"Simon Parkes claims he has had experiences with aliens since birth, and his "real mother" is a 9-foot green alien with eight fingers, the Northern Echo reports."
Sadly enough, there was no description of the wife (Cat Queen) or daughter (Zarka). I believe that we have had more than one politician that believed in or thought that they had seen UFOs but the UK gets the best ones. Convince me that the locals don't elect him for the entertainment factor. Reminds me of a song ....
Nine foot two, she's a doll,
she played college basketball.
Has anybody seen my gal?
Cauliflower ear, guzzles beer,
She can eat most half a steer.
Has anybody seen my gal?
Now if you run into an nine foot two
All covered with hair,
Don't be surprised, it's not your eyes,
Her mother was a grizzly bear.
What the heck, she's a wreck,
She played tackle for Georgia Tech.
Has anybody seen my gal?
We could use a lot more politicians like this one. It would be a refreshing change from the current lot.
Tuesday, June 18, 2013
Monday, June 17, 2013
There Was a Wedding!!
My Father's Day present was a beautiful wedding. Daughter #2 tied the knot with her Marine. I will post some decent pictures when I get some from the people we hired. The one below is just from my crappy phone. Everything went as planned! It must be a first. Everyone seemed to have a great time and we are tired. The kids are off to Disney for their Honeymoon.
I had written a short speech/toast for just prior to dinner. I started to pretend to roast our daughter and would occasionally glance at my better half.....
"I remember when she was but a tike and was playing in the backyard cactus…. oh, wrong story? How about the time at Big Lake that….not that one either? How about the time with the hamster and the toilet plunger….. OK, OK. I am only kidding, all of the above incidents never happened, as far as you know."
There never was any incident involving a hamster and a toilet plunger, that I know of, but it got a squeal out of the bride and laughter from the rest. People were asking about the hamster for the rest of the evening. She made a beautiful bride!
"I remember when she was but a tike and was playing in the backyard cactus…. oh, wrong story? How about the time at Big Lake that….not that one either? How about the time with the hamster and the toilet plunger….. OK, OK. I am only kidding, all of the above incidents never happened, as far as you know."
There never was any incident involving a hamster and a toilet plunger, that I know of, but it got a squeal out of the bride and laughter from the rest. People were asking about the hamster for the rest of the evening. She made a beautiful bride!
Wednesday, June 12, 2013
Send the insects on ahead to take the fight out of them. Fly! Fly! Fly!
I had picked up this comic about February last year. Seems appropriate right about now in more ways than just the single topic of Obamacare.
I am in no way making a statement that Pres. O. actually ordered the IRS to target conservative groups. I believe that it was implicitly understood that it was part of their job descriptions. All those meetings between the IRS and the Pres. were just about golf and stuff. It was purely coincidental. Nothing to see here, move on.
Monday, June 03, 2013
Whew!
I think that I have finally rested up from the Memorial Day weekend. We moved daughter #1 to San Angelo, Texas as she will be attending grad school there. Friday we loaded up her things into the van, trailer and her car. Saturday was a drive across the wastelands of southern New Mexico and West Texas. The wastelands are sparsely interrupted by places selling fireworks, pottery (something to do with the fireworks when bored), novel t-shirts, and other assorted nick-nacks. All these places look about the same and only vary in their state of deterioration. The one on the Continental Divide is special in its dilapidation. I wasn't sure if anyone could walk across the wooden floor without breaking through. I expect that falling through would be bad as it is probably where they raise all the snakes that are put in clear acrylic.
I had rented a U-Haul trailer, one way of course, in order to be able to take all of our darling's valuables. The winds were somewhere between awesome and spectacular. I was not able to drive the single axle trailer over 70 MPH as it would whip around like a leach out of water at any substantial gust of wind. Before you ask - yes, it was balanced correctly. It was almost impossible to read the painted text on the trailer in my rear view mirror with all the wagging back and forth. I think it said something about a 55 MPH limit. I have made this run before in about 10.5 hours. It was more like 12.5 hours this time. We finally arrived safely despite the best efforts of the winds, semis and RVs. My hands and back were already cramped and tired from my death grip on the steering wheel. I think that the van seat has a permanent pucker mark on it.
We went over to the apartment complex Sunday to sign final papers and get the keys to the apartment. This is when we found out that the unit was on the second floor instead of the first floor. There were two different reactions to this news. My daughter says that this is great as she won't have to listen to the elephants upstairs. We have always called the noise generated by people above you as the elephants upstairs. I believe that nomenclature came up when we were staying at a hotel that was also hosting a block of rooms for a soccer tournament. I am getting off topic. My response was more to the tune of, oh crap, now we have to tote all this stuff upstairs. See, two different responses to the same news. Both reasonable responses however mine was not greeted with enthusiasm. I was told to be nice as daughter #1 had to live there and I didn't. Sheeesh! Here I thought that this was a perfect time to complain as I didn't have to live there. She could always apologize for the cranky old man after I left. It might be good to have it known that your father was a cranky old so-and-so to provide for bargaining position in the future.
We successfully unloaded everything. Since I was not totally collapsed in a heap, the trailer was returned and we went to Lowes and bought some more stuff to haul up the stairs. The organizing frenzy was well underway. I was looking for a chair to sit in and pretend that I was immobilized and deaf for a while. It was a good thing that I brought a chair for myself. There is no problem in being immobile as I have a lot of practice in deer hunting. Pretending to be deaf is an acquired skill from years of practice when I am being informed of the chores that remain unfinished.
Monday brought on another shopping spree as we would not want to run out of things to tote up the stairs. Good thing that I got rid of the trailer as some other large items were being considered. I would go out with the measuring tape and return to announce that it wouldn't fit. I guess that you will have to order it and have it delivered. We drove back across the wastelands on Tuesday with winds that were actually spectacular. I was thankful that I didn't have the trailer.
I will now continue to assist in shopping and whatnot until Fathers Day. This is when daughter #2 gets married. She is getting married to a fine young man who is a Marine. I am sure that I will have some fine postings about this glorious event later on. It has been and still is a busy stretch!
I walked by the reloading bench the other day and was sure that it called out to me. The gun safe definitely called to me and asked why haven't you been shooting? Soon, soon.
I had rented a U-Haul trailer, one way of course, in order to be able to take all of our darling's valuables. The winds were somewhere between awesome and spectacular. I was not able to drive the single axle trailer over 70 MPH as it would whip around like a leach out of water at any substantial gust of wind. Before you ask - yes, it was balanced correctly. It was almost impossible to read the painted text on the trailer in my rear view mirror with all the wagging back and forth. I think it said something about a 55 MPH limit. I have made this run before in about 10.5 hours. It was more like 12.5 hours this time. We finally arrived safely despite the best efforts of the winds, semis and RVs. My hands and back were already cramped and tired from my death grip on the steering wheel. I think that the van seat has a permanent pucker mark on it.
We went over to the apartment complex Sunday to sign final papers and get the keys to the apartment. This is when we found out that the unit was on the second floor instead of the first floor. There were two different reactions to this news. My daughter says that this is great as she won't have to listen to the elephants upstairs. We have always called the noise generated by people above you as the elephants upstairs. I believe that nomenclature came up when we were staying at a hotel that was also hosting a block of rooms for a soccer tournament. I am getting off topic. My response was more to the tune of, oh crap, now we have to tote all this stuff upstairs. See, two different responses to the same news. Both reasonable responses however mine was not greeted with enthusiasm. I was told to be nice as daughter #1 had to live there and I didn't. Sheeesh! Here I thought that this was a perfect time to complain as I didn't have to live there. She could always apologize for the cranky old man after I left. It might be good to have it known that your father was a cranky old so-and-so to provide for bargaining position in the future.
We successfully unloaded everything. Since I was not totally collapsed in a heap, the trailer was returned and we went to Lowes and bought some more stuff to haul up the stairs. The organizing frenzy was well underway. I was looking for a chair to sit in and pretend that I was immobilized and deaf for a while. It was a good thing that I brought a chair for myself. There is no problem in being immobile as I have a lot of practice in deer hunting. Pretending to be deaf is an acquired skill from years of practice when I am being informed of the chores that remain unfinished.
Monday brought on another shopping spree as we would not want to run out of things to tote up the stairs. Good thing that I got rid of the trailer as some other large items were being considered. I would go out with the measuring tape and return to announce that it wouldn't fit. I guess that you will have to order it and have it delivered. We drove back across the wastelands on Tuesday with winds that were actually spectacular. I was thankful that I didn't have the trailer.
I will now continue to assist in shopping and whatnot until Fathers Day. This is when daughter #2 gets married. She is getting married to a fine young man who is a Marine. I am sure that I will have some fine postings about this glorious event later on. It has been and still is a busy stretch!
I walked by the reloading bench the other day and was sure that it called out to me. The gun safe definitely called to me and asked why haven't you been shooting? Soon, soon.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
