Friday, July 17, 2009

Riding the Bus

My daughter flew to Dayton with one of her friends and his family. During this time she wanted to get to Toledo and then to Temperance to visit Grandma's and Grandpa's places. She booked the bus to get between the two spots. I did not comment too much at the time because the only way to truly get a feeling for bus travel is by participating in this particular form of mass transit. She would only have thought that I was trying to repress (think Monty Python) her.

She flew yesterday and was on the bus today. My wife got an email stating that, "I don't like riding the bus with all the smelly people". After our laughter subsided, I suggested that we send an email telling her to hang a cloth around her neck and spray it with Fabreeze every so often as this would dampen the smell.

There might be a few good things to remember when traveling by bus such as:
  • Wear a medical mask. People don't know if you a sick or not and tend to move on.
  • Sit towards the front of the bus, never in the rear. Some undesirables sit back there. The bathroom is back there and usually stinks.
  • Look for the little old lady that appears clean to sit beside. Pick who you sit beside instead of hoping that some deviant doesn't sit beside you.
In my daughter's honor I have created some additional lyrics for the song "People".


People,

People who ride Greyhound

Are the smelliest people in the world

Where addicts needing a quick fix

And pretending they are just fine

Hide all the need inside

Acting more insane every minute

Drifters

Are very special people

They’re the smelliest people in the world

With one drifter,
One very special drifter

A feeling deep in your soul
Says you might not make it alive

No more water or food

The toilet is flooding and paperless

People, People who ride Greyhound

Are the smelliest people in the world.

With one driver

One very tired driver

A feeling deep in your soul
Says you might not make it alive

No more water or food

The toilet is flooding and paperless

People, People who ride Greyhound

Are the smelliest people in the world.


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